❤️ Love Is Sacred: A Valentine’s Reflection on LGBTQ+ History, Courage, and the Spiritual Power of Partnership

Paula Sadler
48 minutes ago
4 min read

Universal Rainbow Faith Blog

By Rev. Paula Josephine Sadler

Valentine’s Day is often reduced to roses and chocolate.

But spiritually, it is about something much deeper.

Saint Valentine, a third-century priest, was executed for secretly performing marriages when love was restricted by the state. He believed love was sacred — even when empire said otherwise.

That tension has never gone away.

For LGBTQIA+ people, love has often been forbidden, criminalized, erased, or punished. Yet across centuries, cultures, and continents, LGBTQ+ people have loved each other anyway.

Love persisted.

And that persistence is holy.

🌈 Love Before It Was Legal

LGBTQ+ love did not begin in the modern era. It has existed throughout human history.

In ancient Greece, same-sex relationships between men were documented and philosophically discussed. In many Indigenous cultures of North America, Two-Spirit people held sacred roles and formed partnerships that were spiritually honored.

In ancient Rome, Emperor Elagabalus — whom Universal Rainbow Faith recognizes symbolically as a gender-diverse historical figure — reportedly sought to live openly in a gender-expansive identity and was married multiple times.

In medieval Europe, there are records of “adelphopoiesis” ceremonies — same-sex spiritual unions — though historians debate their exact nature. What is not debated is that queer love existed.

Transgender and gender-expansive people also existed long before modern terminology. Across South Asia, Hijra communities have lived for centuries. In many cultures, gender diversity was recognized long before colonial legal systems criminalized it.

Love has always been here.

🏳️‍⚧️ Early Trans Marriages and Legal Recognition

One of the earliest known trans women to receive gender-affirming surgery was Lili Elbe in the early 1930s in Germany. While her marriage to Gerda Wegener was annulled after her transition, her life marked a historic moment in transgender visibility.

Christine Jorgensen, one of the first widely known American trans women to undergo surgery (1952), sought marriage but was denied due to legal gender designation laws at the time.

Legal recognition for transgender marriage rights evolved slowly and unevenly. For decades, trans people faced annulments, criminal charges, or invalidation of marriages.

The fight for recognition has always been a fight for dignity.

💍 The First Legal Same-Sex Marriages

In 2001, the Netherlands became the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide.

In the United States, marriage equality became law nationwide in 2015 through Obergefell v. Hodges.

But long before legality, LGBTQ+ couples committed themselves to one another privately — in living rooms, in secret ceremonies, in handwritten vows never recognized by law.

They loved without protection. They loved without inheritance rights. They loved without hospital visitation. They loved without safety.

That kind of love is not weakness.

It is courage.

🕯 Those Who Died for Love

We must speak their names.

Matthew Shepard (1998) — murdered in Wyoming. Brandon Teena (1993) — murdered in Nebraska. Countless victims of AIDS whose partners were denied recognition. Trans women of color disproportionately murdered year after year.

During the height of anti-gay violence in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, gay bashings were common in cities like New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and beyond. Police often failed to investigate. Sodomy laws criminalized intimacy itself until Lawrence v. Texas (2003) struck them down.

Love was labeled illegal.

And still — people loved.

📜 The Criminalization of Love

From the founding of the United States, sodomy laws — inherited from British common law — were used to police intimacy. LGBTQ+ people were fired, jailed, institutionalized, and shamed.

Women were once arrested for wearing pants. People were arrested for wearing clothing not aligned with assigned sex.Cross-dressing laws criminalized existence.

Religious rhetoric was often weaponized.

Today, in some nations, same-sex relationships remain criminalized. In several countries, consensual same-sex intimacy can lead to imprisonment. In others, it can lead to death.

This is not just a political issue.

It is a humanitarian crisis. It is a love crisis.

No human being should be jailed or killed for loving another consenting adult.

📊 The Mental Health Impact of Recognition

Research consistently shows:

• LGBTQ+ people in supportive relationships experience lower rates of depression and anxiety.• Marriage equality correlates with improved mental health outcomes among LGBTQ+ populations.• Legal recognition reduces minority stress.• Youth suicide attempts decrease in regions where protective policies exist.

When love is affirmed, people thrive.

When love is criminalized, trauma multiplies.

LGBTQ+ partnerships are not threats to society.

They strengthen society.

Stable, loving relationships create economic stability, community investment, shared caregiving, and mutual support — just like heterosexual marriages.

Love itself is the bond of society.

⚖️ Modern Threats to Equality

We are now witnessing renewed efforts in some regions to restrict LGBTQ+ rights, ban drag, criminalize gender-affirming care, and undermine marriage equality.

In Russia, LGBTQ+ expression has been broadly labeled extremist. In parts of Africa and the Middle East, criminal penalties remain severe. In the United States, some leaders openly discuss overturning marriage equality.

When law and religion are used to suppress love, we must remember Saint Valentine.

He chose love over empire.

So must we.

🌎 Love Makes Society Stronger

Can you imagine a world where people treated one another with the same tenderness they show their partner on Valentine’s Day?

Gifts of kindness. Words like roses. Care without fear.

Love is not merely romantic.

It is social glue. It is civic strength. It is spiritual alignment.

When LGBTQ+ love is protected, all love is protected.

🙏 A Prayer for Love and Justice

Divine Creator of All,

Bless every soul who has loved in secret. Bless those who were harmed for loving. Bless those who lost partners to violence, illness, or injustice. Bless those who were jailed, beaten, erased, or silenced.

Heal the wounds of forbidden love. Restore dignity to every partnership. Protect LGBTQ+ couples across the world.

Let no government dominate how two consenting adults love one another. Let no religion be weaponized against compassion. Let love be stronger than fear.

May we build a world where love is safe. May we honor those who fought for it. May we defend those who still risk everything for it.

Amen. And so it is.